Mike and I met in February, 1994 – pre-selfies! This photo from Christmas that year is the earliest one I can find of the two of us.

We met in AA. He was nine years sober; I was three. After several months of dating, our sponsors blessed the relationship, and we stumbled our way through learning to love each other.

Alcoholics aren’t easy to love. But we worked it out, spending nearly 30 years ‘trudging the road of happy destiny.’

Yesterday marked 33 years sober for me. His recovery helped me, as I hope mine helped him. 

Cheers to you, love.

Looking at my relationship with Mike, I recognize that opposites do, indeed, attract. When we met, I believed that if you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much space. 

Mike, however, was naturally cautious. There were times I thought his default was ‘no.’ (He said ‘yes’ plenty of times; my selfish assertiveness was triggered when he said no to me.)

I mostly don’t live on the edge now. I do say yes, often, to new experiences. Mike’s thoughtfulness was a good counter to my impulsiveness, and I frequently wonder “WWMD” as I make decisions for myself.